i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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