they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
