WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
