My hand turned me down
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
