i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I want a musical about memes.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
