K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
