I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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