Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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