Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
