Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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