I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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