dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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