the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
