1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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