I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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