Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
