so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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