He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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