I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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