well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
