That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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