We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
