I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
