all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
