areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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