She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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