my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
