Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
