Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
