My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
