Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
