Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
