i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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