I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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