Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
