if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize