i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
