You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
