Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
