There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
