Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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