Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
