I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
