Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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