Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
