He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
