just tell him i said nine months
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she told me i tasted like america
organizing the empties. That sober.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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