I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
