NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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