yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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