My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The Olympian is in my bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
