Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize