It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Shame - the story of my life.
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