someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
