I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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