You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
