Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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