I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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