Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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