Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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