quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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