First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
