this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize