I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize