she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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