I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
