nut hugger
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
