Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
