Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
