I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
