My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
