I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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