:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
