just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
