carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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