i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
