We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
