We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
