The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
