if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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