I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
