I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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