She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
